A galaxy of balloons

I have that kind of feeling. As I read what you wrote. That kind of feeling that is perhaps like how a kind little girl would feel when she lets go of the lovely balloon she was holding into the sky. She felt like she has set the balloon free, gave it back its freedom, but yet the kind of pain at letting it go, knowing that she can never follow where it was heading for. It's a painful feeling, to wish and grant it freedom from the strings that has kept it stranded in this ridiculous bubble and at the same time, know that it's somewhere you cannot follow no matter how much you would wish.

Somehow, what you wrote didn't seem to involve me. Somehow, sometimes, I still feel that there is a part of your life that I have unwittingly and involuntarily chose to exit from, due to the decision to leave.

When you mentioned the clouds in the sky, even with Arnott's, what came to my mind was just you and yes, other clouds. Other clouds who are going through the same as you, who yearn for the same thing as you do at this point in time. And not me. Because I don't have a shared experience with you in this anymore. What I earlier termed 'no more commonality'.

So, when I read what you wrote, it just made me very upset. Because, somehow, I felt like how that little girl might feel. That, I know it would make you happier, but it's still somewhere that I can't follow, and where I would be a misfit. In the end, it just felt like... you are going to leave me. And just because I chose to leave first.

In the end, I can still blame no one.