Communicating to Dream channel

I couldn't accept you. I didn't want to. No, it's more like, I couldn't. So you stuck around. And I chased you out, away. I shouted for you to stop wasting your time. I shouted for you to see that I am not going to have any relationship with anyone, including you.

I can't keep up with this anymore. Thank you for the attention. But I am really more than you thought met your eyes. I'm more manipulative than you thought. More capable of putting on a fantastic show than you thought necessary. I've more issues than you can see on the outside, more delusive than all my nicknames put together. Attraction is truly, only skin deep.

You were such a nice dream to be in. But even in my dream, I had to resist.

Thank you for the attention. But I had to resist. I have no more room for the fall. I want no more room for anyone else. This is my square room. Just mine alone.

From one to the other

His answer was 'a life partner, someone to do things with'. And me?

Me? I only want to have someone to go back to at the end of everyday. Someone to look forward to, who is the 'present' at the end of every dog-tired day.

And yet, I said I've given up. Gave up. You must understand it's always so much more reliable to love yourself.

No, he didn't give up. And he told me not to. But, I can't find anymore reasons to have faith. To believe. To not give up. Perhaps, even if I do find the reason, I will shut that reason down, make it unreasonable and indulge in disbelief.

You try working at something you thought and believed was worth all the time you have in this world. Someone to share life with. Someone to belong to, and someone to belong to you. And in the end, in the end, you are still by yourself. Silently cursing yourself, sometimes, that you should have known better.

So, I turn away from the self-help guides, turn away from all those beautiful talk of love and inspirations. And I look inside myself. And it's all in pieces.

She said she's not like me. She can't act as well as me.

Pieces. Pieces of me. But you would never see it from the outside.

The passing of the empty days

i will take no chance. says:
sigh... well, when i was with kay, life really felt more complete. as in, no matter how tired i am, at the end of the day, just knowing there's her waiting for me to call her or she waiting to call me makes the day complete.
i will take no chance. says:
there is purpose to a whole day of work. even if it's a long day.
© says:
= )
i will take no chance. says:
now, feels empty.
i will take no chance. says:
sometimes, i dun even feel like sleeping becos it just felt like the day hasnt ended.
i will take no chance. says:
like, waiting for sthg to happen... that won't happen.
© says:
.. = )
© says:
*hugs*
i will take no chance. says:
but it ok lah...
i will take no chance. says:
not like i ve any other choice...
i will take no chance. says:
at least work's been busy but colleagues been fun.
© says:
= )
i will take no chance. says:
the feeling was really nice.
i will take no chance. says:
i reminiscence that feeling. of belonging to the scheme of life. of belonging to someone.
i will take no chance. says:
reminiscence only possible cos i've lost that feeling.
i will take no chance. says:
but nvm lor... wasn't a very real feeling to begin with. hahahah
i will take no chance. says:
losing it felt more real than having it.
i will take no chance. says:
damn.
i will take no chance. says:
haha