And 'tis is my best

Let's keep it simple. Cos it really is.

Because we are broken, broken in our own ways.

Because we either don't believe in a future or not deserve one.

I did think about it. I did wonder where I can draw the line. And this is my best. For now, this is my best. Don't make it complicated for me. Don't complicate it for me.

Let's keep it simple. Cos it really should be.

Delusions bazaar

It was my wedding day, all right. My jiemeis were there, dolling me up, making sure I looked my best. But I think I looked horrible. I had long curly hair tied in a braid to the left with a pale champagne colour ribbon.

It was a church wedding. I put my arm around the arm of my groom, my husband-to-be. And he carried me up to this wedding altar where we were supposed to say some kind of prayer in order to be solemnized.

After the ceremony, which was unceremoniously short, we walked out of the church, newly-wed. I remember Anna and Wenn walking in front of us. They were smiling from ear to ear and I could tell they were really happy for me.

But I didn't know who my groom was. I looked up at him and he was nobody I knew in real life. However, I could feel he loved me. I could feel that that was the person who would commit to taking care of me and loving me for the rest of my life. It's a strange feeling.

Then, I realised I'm the only one who seemed unaware of what and why this is happening. I turned to my groom and asked him, 'What year is it?' Afraid that he didn't understand my question, I added, 'This is year two-zero-zero...?' He answered, '2009'.

I nodded my head, trying to take it in - I'm getting married in 2009. I decided I might as well find out the date too. So, I asked him, 'What's today's date?'

He replied, with no hint of surprise that his bride was not even aware of the date of their marriage, 'October 2nd.'

I nodded again. I was getting married. The date was 2009, October 2nd.

Then, I woke up.

I looked an ugly bride in the dream. The hair was totally obsolete and I don't even remember being wow-ed by my gown. Seriously, I ought to look better!

Delusions bazaar

I dreamt that I was so tired, so very very tired that I couldn't even pick myself up from the floor. I tried to stand up using my elbows and palms as support. But it was so difficult. I was so, so tired.

And everybody was doing what they were doing, what they should be doing and nobody thought to give me a hand. And I didn't blame them. Becos I really just wanted to give up and sleep, not try to stand up and do what I should be doing. I really just wanted to sleep.

I don't know why even in dreams, I had to dream that I was so effing tired.

Delusions bazaar

All 6 of us - Viv, Ade, Wenn, Anna, Juan and I - were at a yoga class. The class was only open for us. There was a female instructor.

We all got ready and seated ourselves on our yoga mats. I was sitting the nearest to the instructor. That's probably why I got picked to be the leader to demonstrate the poses.

As I was trying my best to demo and perform bodily distortions, and the instructor was trying her best to correct my poses, the five of them kept giggling. I didn't know what was the joke. Apparently, there was no joke. They just felt gigglish and instead of following my cue and do the exercises, they were all huddled together, whispering and giggling.

The instructor got really angry and pissed at the lack of attention and respect. She scolded them. I just stared on. Then, she said that given our attitude and poor foundation, she would have to give us extra lessons. She looked to me for some response when the five of my good friends couldn't respond suitably to that by refraining from whispering and giggling.

I looked at Wenn, thinking that she would be the most reliable for some kind of sensibility. However, she was just immersed in whatever the joke was.

The instructor left the room. I still didn't know why my friends were acting all strange, like ticklish silly schoolgirls.